Ramblings

I haven't posted in a while due to one simple reason:
THESIS
THESIS
THESIS

I have been furiously working on my thesis all week. This means that I have been thinking theo-philosophical thoughts all week, and yet it has mostly been intellectual and not spiritual. Though there has been some spiritualness involved. I enjoy the writing and I enjoy the thinking but I don't enjoy working on the outlining. It is something I have never really done in all of writing career (I know, how could I have gotten this far with "A's" and not done outlines). Consequently I am not used to it, and it is highly frustrating. Oh well, so goes life. I am about half way through.

And all the while I have been reading the most depressing book in the Bible . . . Ecclesiastes. "Vanity of Vanities, all is vanity." Truly a confusing book. Our pastor is doing a series on confusing sayings of Jesus . . . I wish he would parse Ecclesiastes for me. Is the teacher saying that all of life is vanity and we should follow the commandments of God while enjoying the pleasures of life? Is he saying that even following the commandments of God is vanity. All I can say for sure is that he does believe that whether good or bad we are all gonna die.

Someone forgot to take his happy pills!

Another poem, and (tongue in cheek??) prayer

I want a cabin in the woods
where there is no wife
and there is no kids
and there is no shoulds

I want a cabin by a creek
where I can think
and I can fish
but only for a couple weeks

I want a cabin with electricity
because unfortunately
I have to have this blasted
laptop with me

I want a cabin with a fire
where I can gaze
and I can ponder
for my thesis work is dire

I'm going to bring you into my world for a bit

I know this may be hard for you but I want you to read the following passage. There is so much to say about it:

That same love that sustains nonself-enclosed identities in the Trinity seeks to make space “in God” for humanity. Humanity is however, not just the other of God but the beloved other who has become an enemy. When God sets out to embrace the enemy, the result is the cross. On the Cross the dancing circle of self-giving and mutually indwelling divine persons opens up for the enemy; in the agony of the passion the movement stops for a brief moment and a fissure appears so that sinful humanity can join in (see John 17:21). We, the others – we, the enemies – are embraced by the divine persons who love us with the same love with which they love each other and therefore make space for us within their own eternal embrace.


What an amazing God we have. One who will give in entirely to anguish and agony in order to bring us into loving communion with the divine Trinity.

The wording here is so critical. We are the other, the ENEMY. We, humanity, who have turned our backs on God in order to make ourselves gods, are so loved that to bring us back into relationship, the Cross, the passion, all the agony, suffering and death which that entails, was necessitated. God creates a fissure within the existence of the Trinity in order to allow us to experience that Love. The love of the enemy.

stay tuned to this station for continuing updates on this developement!!!!

Me? I'm pretty damn dumb most of the time.

Psalms 119: 57-71
The Lord is my portion; I promise to keep your words. I implore your favor with all my heart' be gracious to me according to your promise. When I think of your ways, I turn my feet to your decrees;I hurry and do not delay to keep your commandments. . . . You have dealt with your servant, O Lord, according to your word. Teach me good judgment and knowledge; for I beleieve in your commandments. Before I was humbled I went astray, but now I keep your word. You are good and do good; teach me your statutes. . . . It is good for me that I was humbledl so that I might learn your statutes.

Interesting passage huh?

In reading Psalm 119 there is so much in each and every stanza that it is almost too much to comprehend. But look at this: "The Lord is my portion." In other words, the Lord is all I get, no more, no less. Then the psalmist asks for grace according to God's promise. . . . he says that when he thinks of the lords ways his feet turn to God's decrees. In other words, when he thinks of what God does he does the same things (hold this thought in your mind for a bit, if you would) Then, interstingly enough, he says that the Lord has dealt with the servant according to His will. Now to me, though I admit I may be reading this wrong, it seeems that this must be connected to the next sentence where the servant has been humbled. look at the words "dealt with" and "servant." They seem to imply a reprimand or disciplining of some sort; this idea is only reinforced by the fact that the humbling comes directly afterwards. And THEN, the psalmist says that it is good that he was humbled.

SO jojo what have you learned today? (sorry, inside joke for those who have toddlers and watch the Disney channel)

A. God is all we got folks. When things are good, or bad, we usually first try to do things on our own steam, but the fact of the matter is, we ain't got any steam that is ours. The God who sustains this universe out of his sheer love for it, who gives sustanance to the lion, and bird, and the creatures of the deep from his own hand in his own time, does the same for us. have you ever thought what it would be like if God got REALLY mad at someone and just decided to NOT Love them to not "think" them? Poof! bye-bye. So hey, God really is your portion. He's all you got.

(wow never thought I could write an entire sermon on just one line! Jim, if you ever need a sermon writer I only charge twenty dollars per verse word!)

Now on to being humbled. hmmm maybe I need some of that.

I think I should attempt to remind myself of my humbled nature and the fact that all I have is God though, because frankly, when God humbles us it usually ain't fun or pretty. (been there, done that, got the shirt.)

But it is good to be humbled none-the-less. For in being humbled we learn the statutes of God, we are taught by the great teacher what we should be doing and how we should be acting. We are taught again that our portion is the Lord, and the Lord only. Why? Because God lets us be brought low, in order that he may raise us up again, so that we may learn where our sustanance comes from.

How quick of a learner are you? Me? I'm pretty damn dumb most of the time.

A Poem and my Prayer

Come, YHWH
the To Be which is to Be.
Beyond all Being.
The Eternal Thou.
The Nameless Name.
Crossed on this Earth,
Yet sustaining it;
Open armed
Always and already

I lift myself to You
Open armed
upon my cross.
I, a living sacrifice.
Crossed in this being;
because of your
Crossing made righteous

Come, YHWH
Indwell me
with your Wind,
and with your Fire.
Be in me
as you are Beyond

Come, YHWH.
Sustain me
as you sustain
the Lion and the Lark.
Sustain me
as you sustain
the Grasses and the Herbs.
Sustain me as you
Sustain the Earth.

Come, YHWH
In your steadfast
Love, may I find atonement
for scorn, for pride
for jealousy and rage.
In your steadfast
Love, may I give atonement
for bitterness, for deceit.
For difference.

Come, YHWH
Guide me
on the paths
which only You know.
Guard me
from the enemies
which only You can defeat.
Go before me
in the wilderness
which only you
can turn to oasis.


Come, YHWH
the To Be which is to Be.
Beyond all Being.
The Eternal Thou.
The Nameless Name.
Crossed on this Earth,
Comprehender
beyond even my
comprehension of my
incomprehension.

Abba.
Crossed.
Wind.
Three.
One
Always
and Already

Amen.

p.s I figured out yesterday that this is the first poem I have written in ten years, so please its been a long time . . . . be gentle!

This crazy life

This has been a crazy week. I have not had time to really spend in prayer and meditiation this week because Rowan has been deciding to get up at 5 AM. Consequently for the last few days I have felt very restless, anxious, and agitated. This morning however, I was able to get up and have my time to pray, read my bible and consecrate the day to the Lord. It felt so good.

I am just praying that the Holy Spirit will help to focus my mind today and give me the grace to organize my thoughts. I am working on my Thesis, but much of the reading was done almost a year ago. There are so many different thoughts and concepts running around my head that have been discovered or created since that point. I must, must, must focus my thoughts and drill down my thoughts on this paper to the core concepts. I am not good at doing that. Just read my blog and you'll figure that out quickly.

God, just do this for me. Alright?

In Psalm 79 11-13, described as a plea for mercy for Jeruselem) the psalmist writes:

"Let the groans of the prisoners come before you; according to your great power preserve those doomed to die/ Return sevenfold into the bosom oof our neighbors the taunts with which they taunted you, O Lord! Then we your people, the flock of your pasture, will give thans to your forever; from generation to generation we will recount your praise."

In Genesis 28:20-1, Jacobsays much the same thing after his dream at Bethel:

"Then Jacob made a vow, saying 'If Godwill be with me and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat and clothing to wear, so that I come again to my father's house in peace, then the Lord shall be my God . . ."


How many times do you think Israel made promises such as this to God. "O Lord, just do this for me and I will follow you all the days of my life!" I would make a study of this but I might have to spend all the days of my life doing it! The history of Israel is cyclical: from the beginning it is a case of God blessing them, or doing miraculous deeds for them, Israel promising to praise and glorify him, and then, almost instantly turning their backs on him, until things get so bad that they cry out "How long, O Lord? Will you be angry forever? Will your jealous wrath burn like fire?" psalm 79:5 and ask God to bless them, or save them once more and make promises that even they know that they will not keep. In the previous psalm Israel "remembered that God was their rock, the Most High God their redeemer. But they flattered him with their mouths; they lied to him with their tongues. Their heart was not steadfast toward him; they were not true to his covenant.

I do not say this as any sort of condemnation of Israel, for the simple fact that I think it is also metaphorical of all of us in one way or another. Our lives in the Spirit are cyclical, we give ourselves to God, then take back from him, we move towards him, then run away.

And yet:
Yet he, being compassionate, forgave them their iniquity, and did not destroy them; often he restrained his anger, and did not stir up all his wrath."

Thanks be to God that he is loving as well as wrathful, that he has the full compendium of emotions and more restraint then any human.

If not, well . . . we'd all be screwed

My Heart

Let me take you on a time warp:

Psalm 36 1-4:
1 Transgression speaks to the wicked deep in their hearts; there is no fear of God before their eyes.
2For they flatter themselves in their own eyes that their inquity cannot be fourn out and hated.
3 The words of their mouths are mischief and deceit; they have ceased to act wisely and do good.
4 They plot mischief while on their beds' theay are set on a way that is not good' they do not reject evil.

Pretty plain, don't think I need to explain.
Now for 37, (someday we'll be in heaven) (sorry I just HAD to make the rhyme there since the first line did it on its own. Please! with me, don't pick a bone!)

30 The mouths of the righteous utter wisdom, and their tongues speak justice.
31 The law of their God is in their hearts; their steps do not slip.

All jesting aside here, things are pretty clear (I'M SORRY!!!! I can't help it the rhymes are appearing on their by themselves. It must be the inspiration of elves)
Really all jesting aside take a look at the passages:

verse one of 36 says that transgression (read sin) is DEEP in the heart of texas . . . uh I mean the wicked. Sin is deep in the heart. they don't give a rip about God. This first statement is without parallel in the old testement. Transgression (crossing a line, sin) has here, taken the place normally reserved for God in the OT: that of oracle or speaker to the heart.

And look at the consequences of that: the "wicked" are blinded by their own flatter and lies to themselves: they see neither the fear of God, nor the fact that their sin is real and can be "found out and hated". The words which they speak and the actions which they plot are mischief and deceit.

in 37 30-1 this situation is reversed, this reversal is even emphasized by the text itself. Whereas the wicked have transgression deep in their hearts and speak mischief and deciet, the righteous speak wisdom and justice and the "law of their God is in their hearts."

In fact, if you look at the entirety of the two Psalms you see that the psalmist is setting up this exact dichotomy the psalmist begins with the transgression in the hearts of the wicked and shows th fruits of that situation, then goes on to speak of the virtues of God until the end of 36. In 37 he exhorts the people to the way of the Lord, and begins to illucidate the fruits which are born from having the law of God in the heart. "1 Do not fret because of the wicked; do nt be envious of wrongdoers, 2 for they will soon fade like the grass, and wither like the green herb. 3 Trust in the lord, and do good; so you will liven in the land and enjoy security. 4 Take delight in the lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will act. . . . 34 Wait for the Lord and keep to his way"

The obvious key to the point of the passage is what resides in the heart of humanity. When transgression resides in the heart (shall we here say soul, spirit . . . something else?) then necessarily the way is wickedness. When the "law [notice here this is not the capitalized Law of judaicism] of God" resides in the heart the then necessarily the way is righteousness. Obviously, there is a dichotomy between transgresion and God, and just as obviously there is a dichotomy between the heart which has God deep in and with it vs. the heart which lives in/with transgression. This passage also implies that there can be a transformative and redemptive move from the way of transgression to the way of God.

Now time warp a few hundreds of years into the future. To the words of a man who has actually incarnated this redemptive move: our man Paul.

Paul uses the same argumentative logic in Romans which is used in the above passages. In 6:16 Paul states "Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one who you obey,either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience which leads to righteousness? 17 But thanks be to God that you, having once been slaves of sin have ome obedient from the heart to the form or teaching to which you were entrusted, 18 and that you ,having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness."

We again see that it is through the heart (I repeat: shall we here say soul, spirit . . . something else?) and what resides in the heart -- or could we say where the heart resides? -- that there is either the way of wickedness or the way of God. But here, Paul takes the psalmists allusions to their final conclusion. The residents/ce of the heart is obedience to the point of slavery, the utter and complete giving over of the self to another; to the other. The Way


So, What or whom is your heart's resident/ce









AHA! you thought that was the end of the post didn't you? Of course not! That question is too banal, to flippant, to easily thrown out, then thrown away. Especially by christians. We, as christians use so much "in" language, so much jargon, and especially shorthand. "Where does your heart lie?" "Are you Born Again?" "Have you except Jesus as your Lord and Saviour?"

Yes, Jim is absolutely right when he writes on the 27 of Feb in We all need Grace that for the sake of those not "down wit JC," those who enter the doors of a church once or twice a year, or maybe in a time of chaos and chrisis, we need to step out of our tech jargon. The fact is that, in the end, do we who are "down wit JC" even know what that or the above shorthand questions really mean any more then those who aren't?

I would argue that many of us don't.

We come enter the church building in our sunday best, we sing the songs, we listen to the sermon, we even go to sunday school classes. And then we go home, take off the sunday best, and with it, oft' times our christianity.

Paul exhorts us to put on Jesus Christ. But Jesus is not some special added extra woven into the fabric of our Sunday Best, to be taken off when outside the walls of the church building. For as soon as we take him off, as soon as he no longer resides in our hearts, and we in his, then we are no longer bound in obedience to him. Christ is not woven into our garments to be taken on and off as we chose. Rather, The Way is woven into the very fibers of our hearts. We are bound to him and he to us so that "neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things ppresent, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nnor anything else in all creation, will be able to serarate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

It is thus that the redemption from "wicked" to "righteous" is wholly transformative of the self; it is a giving over of the self (in its entirety) to the radical other: GOd. And through him, a giving over of the self to the not so radical other: the neighbor, the friend, the enemy.