At Home with the Menagerie

Dracula, and a life of Hope and Despair

2008-10-26T09:12:00.004-06:00

In the latter years of the 19th century, an insidious,, and unstoppable invasion occured in Britain.

This invasion caused women to commit strange and horrific acts of moral turpitude. These degrading acts were truly sucking the life from young, highly marriagable women.

The invader?

None other than Dracula.

Or, on the other hand, the beginning of the overcoming of Victorian patriarchical society by women.

You see, this is how my brain works. I actually wrote a paper presenting and defending this argurment for an undergrad class in Victorian Gothic lit.

I don't really know many people that can see Bram Stoker's Dracula as a social commentary on the evils of Women's lib.

My natural bent to be able to see connections and possibilities has been honed to a sharp edge by too few years of school.

I truly love to do this sort of thing. It gives me great pleasure to hold these disparate concepts in my mind and find the ways in which they make a curious whole. However, there is a flip side to this ability: I also see the flaws. Just as I can build up an argument for Dracula being invasive female figure in late Victorian society, I can also shred an argument to pieces. I see a system that has been built up, look into it, see the crumbling foundation, the poor construction of the arches holding it up, find the weak spots and pick at them until the entire thing falls to the ground.

This paradoxical ability allows me to see the strengths and the weaknesses of the metanarratives that we all walk through and in daily. For me, as a situated, perspectival self, it allows for both hope and despair

It is a touchy, sensitive liminal space to walk in. If one is not careful, there can be a long fall into criticism, griping, and moaning. A person who merely bitches and does not act to become an agent of change. The other possibility is that one blindly hopes and believes in a system, following the dictates of that metanarrative in a belief that the strengths will cover up the weaknesses.

I do not wish to be either of those. I wish to always walk that liminal space of hope and despair. That is the space where there is a possibility of action.

Why do I say this?

I was having a conversation with someone I considered a friend last week. This is a person who I am supposedly "doing life with." Someone with whom I thought I could be myself, share my thoughts. Be real. Not so it seems.

He told me flat out that he thought I had taken that big fall and that I was never happy, never satisfied, and would never be.

I didn't bother to argue. I new that I could not change this person's mind. But I do know one thing: I am have not taken that fall. I see the beauty of both sides. I attempt to hold them each gently in my hand.

I do not know if I was right or wrong in how I handled the above statement by this person, but I do know that if someone cannot understand that I see and hold both hope and despair in my hands, at once holding one tighter than the other, than they cannot see me. They simply cannot know me.

Wait a minute . . .

2008-09-02T20:18:00.003-06:00

Wait, just hold on a sec,

Honestly, truly.

Please believe me.

I didn't sign up for this!

And by "this" I mean life in general of course -- since life hasn't been all fluffy bunnies and bankroll -- but I also mean the job that I have now.

I emailed a friend a few days back, from work, and the email had my autosignature on it. According to my work title, I am a "Technical Support Engineer." My friend emails me back asking what kind of freaky engineering degree did I get!

Maybe I should call this guy my "so called" friend. I don't know, what do y'all think?

Here's my point. I ain't no engineer, and I don't think that I am all that technical. But hey it works. I got the job based on my outstanding (their words, not mine) work as a contractor for this company.

I was working as an MS Access database guru. And by the by, I don't think I am a guru at this stuff. But I will say that I am pretty good at figure things out.

What has happened now, is that while my fellow new co-workers are training on what we are supposed to be doing, I am doing database stuff.

Now don't get me wrong. I LIKE doing this db stuff. I am a great data analyst and I am great at sorting through what people want and how to give it to them. But I had had this vision in mind of getting all this technical knowledge and leveraging it into a technical writing type job. (at least then I would be writing.

That might come along but I think I may be opening up a new path here into the deep dark recesses of database worlds.

Hey, it works. I like it. I think I want the technical experience as well, but here's the issue.

I HAVE A DEGREE IN HUMANITIES. How in the world does a guy with a degree in English lit, and a master's in what is basically postmodern philosophy and theology end up being so good at database stuff (which mind you I hadn't done much and what I had done was seven years ago)???

Really, honestly, I didn't sign up for this.

I kinda like navel gazing.

On the other hand, it is sort of fun to say to someone living in the concrete world, that maybe the data can give you that information and maybe it can't. If you ask me nicely I will make it say whatever you want. Remember I have an M.H. in BS!

Broken Hearts

2008-08-25T19:26:00.002-06:00

My heart is broken.

It is screaming out in anguish for someone whom I care about and someone whom I have held a grudge against and have disliked for months.

My heart is broken.

In the midst of this, in the midst of watching the devastation of two lives, I know --and believe me this is a deep down, totally don't understand it, walking out on thin air, faith in the messianic promis of an oasis in the desert knowing -- that God is still there.

In three and a half years of studying philosophy and theology I have come to the conclusion that following Christ means simply this: walking with a brother or a sister through all the shit and shineola that life throws at us.

It doesn't matter that my sister (in the body of christ) offended me. She is still my sister. And when family is hurting you stand firm with them. YOu let them lean on you and you share with them the small tidbits of wisdom that you have gleaned in the times that you have had to lean on them.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and all your soul and with all your mind.

And through that love, come to realize that the person that you dislike is someone who needs love. They, their needs and their hurts, come miles and miles before your own.

Why? Because -- through Christ -- it is you who comes before them in your time of need.

Does it work all the time?

HELL KNOW!

Doesn't matter though. Because that is what we are called to do.

The one who we are told to emulate, did EXACTLY that.

Through his crucified open arms he put us before his own needs.

I know through all the devastation that I see around me. And believe me, I see alot. Christ is still there with us

His heart is as broken as mine, as broken as my sister's and as broken as my brothers.

Pain . . .

2008-05-20T21:18:00.003-06:00

I will here admit a guilty pleasure:
I watch the tv show "House" and I love it. If for nothing else, Hugh Laurie with a Yank accent.

The season finale was fairly depressing. The most depressing part for me was this exchange of dialogue:

"I don't want the pain, I don't want the misery . . ."
"We don't always get what we want."

I live in pain daily. And this week, my pain has flared up. I hate it, it sucks.

Life goes on.

Here's the deal though. I have two dear friends who have just found out that there 7 year old son has Leukemia. They wrote on their blog about their son having muscle spasms from the chemotherapy that rated a 10 on the smiley face chart. Been there, done that, got the &*%$* t-shirt. I read that and I cried. I cried for a little boy who has to rate his pain with a smiley face. And let me say, there ain't much to smile about when you get to 10.

I am an adult. I have wrestled with God about why I have to live like this. And those were some serious bouts. Why does a little boy have to suffer that sort of pain? Can he wrestle with God? Can he understand, not the why, but what of it? Can he come to terms with it?

Can I? Have I, can I, come to terms with my own pain?

I don't know . . .

5 W's and an H

2008-03-05T09:48:00.003-07:00

So I haven't written anything for almost four months.

Bad Brad . . . Bad Brad

Actually I don't think I have had a sustained deep thought since I finished my thesis.

But what I have been doing is Life.

Working, trying to find a better job. Watching my son grow and learn and change. Cooking, cleaning, getting my dog groomed. All of the truly important things in life (no sarcasm here, seriously).

This is truly a season of change for me and for my family. And I cannot let it just go and not think about the 5 W's and an H. Ok, so I am a true introspect. Something happens and I have to investigate and try to figure it out. I hope, and pray that that investigation brings me knowledge and wisdom for use in the future.

After more than three years I wrote my thesis and have received my Master's degree. I even got my diploma just last week. What an amazing feeling. A weight off my shoulders. Release, renewal, regret. I love being done, but I want to go back and do more too. And I will.

But for now, It is a time to do other things. Like, I don't know, find a career, be able to help support my family. Silly things like that

Any way: Watch this Space for more on this investigation

STOP SPEAKING THE GOSPEL!!!!

2007-11-09T13:18:00.000-07:00

I have spent over three years deep within philosophy and theology.

I love it. I am exploring a theology which I feel can have a major impact on our christian lives. Thinking and stratagizing and analyzing is what I love.

HOWEVER . . . There is more. Because of page length constraints the end of my thesis is only the jumping off point.

Here is the key: Praxis Praxis Praxis.

So what is my desperate desire??

Our church is considering "adopting" an area of Denver that has some significant needs. Needs that have nothing to do with orally "preaching the Gospel."

Rather, these needs have everything to do with preaching the Gospel as Christ preached it. Yes, he spoke the Gospel, he taught. But more importantly he LIVED the Gospel. He was overflowing with the Love that IS God.

So how do we do this?

Simple, we find a need and we fill it. We become servants. We live as if we are responsible for the other person.

I want our church to reach out in love and fill the needs of this adopted community. Fill the "secular" needs.

The example I see is a church and outreach orginization in downtown Toronto. This place opens its doors the community. The teach ESL, they teach computer skills, the have a food pantry. They recognize a need in the community and do everything they can to fill it.

Come on folks, I am calling for us to stop speaking the Gospel

Lets LIVE it!!

Quick update

2007-11-07T19:16:00.000-07:00

For those who are interested:

I defended my thesis today. I passed. They thought I defended very well.

However, they want revision for two of the philosophers, before they sign off on the thesis itself.

so more work, but with those revisions they will sign off, so I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

A peek at my Thesis

2007-11-04T15:32:00.000-07:00

Modern Theo-Philosophy, with its emphasis on rationality and reason, made “God” obsolete; limiting and confining God’s significance within Being. Western Christianity was left destitute, supposedly delusional in its belief in God. However, within the postmodern era, where meta-narratives are continually being questioned, there is a wounding of reason which opens a space for a new dialectic of God. There is, therefore, a need within Western Christianity for a way in which to speak of, approach and engage God. There is a desperate requirement for a turn in the way in which Western Christians approach the world and God.

Though much of Modern Christianity spurns the ideas of Postmodernity, I argue that many of the concepts which are found therein are not only helpful in regaining a significant dialectic God, but are, in fact, at the very core of Western Christianity. Exploring the works of Derrida, Levinas, Marion and Volf – four of the major Postmodern theo-philosophers – I attempt to elucidate a new dialectic of God that forms the basis of a shift in loyalties, a shift in the gaze of Western Christians. Examining core concepts of Postmodern philosophy such as the I, the other, le tout autre and the consequential formation of Identity we find that whereas Modernity made God obsolete, Postmodern Phenomenology wounds the situated existent in such a way that dialectic of God becomes relevant to that situated existent.

Through the imitation of an act of Love – acted out by God, within Being – Western Christianity regains a hope of peace with the other. Through the imitation of this act with God, the identity of the situated existent is formed in such a way that they are able to see the realm of Being through the eyes of le tout Aautre – through the eyes of God.

It is this new gaze, this new perspective of Love which allows for the hope of peace, the hope of faith and Love. This, however, is only the foundation of the larger project of action within this new perspective. From this starting point, there must then be a an examination of how exactly this new gaze is played out within the subjective existent’s life.

The Meme finally

2007-11-01T21:38:00.000-06:00

So I have been tagged by my loving sis (I will get you for this . . . oh wait I'm making you read my thesis, never mind) to add my comments to this meme thingy (thingy is a technical term by the way)

It is on a book called unChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks about Christianity . . . And Why it Matters It is supposed to groundbreaking research on what 16-29 year olds think of Christianity, and Christianity's image problem.

Sorry but . . . DUH. We had to do research to figure out that Christianity is viewed in a bad light??? Come on folks.

Now, seriously, the task of the meme is to list three negative stereotypes of Christians, and then one thing that we should be known for.

1) All Christians are radical fundamentalist, Right-wing, Capitalist Pigs. (sorry, I am a grad student so sometimes the student attitudes creep in) Seriously though, many of these students really think this. Tell some one you are christian and they run screaming thinking you are going to smack them upside the head with the biggest bible in the world and scream "Come to JAAY-ZUS thou unholy spawn of the devil!!! Or they might suspect that you are secretly the manager of a sweat shop hidden in your house's crawl space.

2) Christians are idiots. Like sub-moronic on the IQ scale. Common don't you know that evolution has been completly proven and that to believe in God is good reason to suspect that one is seriously delusional and in need of institutionalization (Just read Freud)

3) This one is the WORST: Christians have no compassion for others. Don't you see people picketing abortion clinics, Planned Parenthood, and don't you see them screaming such things as "You are going to HELL you sick and perverted childmolesting Faggot at any place where there might be even a small gathering of Gay, Lesbian, or Transgendered folks.

So, with a few tongue in cheek examples (that unfortunately are all too true) you can see that christians are uncompassionate, sub-moronic, delusional pigs.

Don't you feel all warm and cozy to call yourself a christian??

So what is the one thing that we should be known for?

One simple word: LOVE

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." This is the first and greatest commandment and a second is like it. You shall love the lord your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets. (Matt. 22:37-40 NRSV)

Can't ask for something more simple than that. even a delusion sub-moronic individual can do it. Love gets rid of the whole uncompassionate thing, now we just have to figure out how to not be Right Wing, bible thumping pigs!!!

Not too hard right?

A Eulogy of sorts

2007-10-15T10:05:00.000-06:00

I just read my wife's blog and I had to comment.

Clay was a bit of a friend of mine. As much as could be I guess. He was a loner, but as I have been at home all day every day for the past five years, I got to know him better then most on our street I think.

To look at he was a bit scary, or maybe a bit weird. But he had a good heart.

He loved his Harley, and he loved his '67 impala. In the summer he would take it to car shows, and usually won some recognition. Occassionally, he would even drive it.

Clay and I would talk about the weather, our health problems, and our various surgeries. He had bad hands, and bad shoulders so I would either snowblow his drive, or let him borrow the snowblower . . . at least if I could get out before he did.

As I did most of the shopping I would see him at the store, and I we would chat as he checked out my groceries.

I tried to reach out to him, to befriend him, but I know that I didn't do all that I could.

I don't know how the accident happened, but I do know this: if he had his choice, he probably would have chosen to go out that way, on his Harley, riding on a beautiful fall day.

I lift the proverbial glass to you Clay.

An Amazing Complement

2007-09-10T06:52:00.001-06:00

So I started to write a poem for my blog today but it was turning out really crappy and trite.

I hate it when that happens.

Especially since the chair of my thesis committee gave me such an amazing complement yesterday. And he didn't just say it privately, that is what is so nice. He wrote an email to myself, and the two other profs on my committee regarding my latest draft. He first of all said that except for some minor changes it is ready for defense and that we should set it up for October. Thank God. Then, speaking to me he said:

"Brad, the latest draft is a significant improvement from the previous one, and there are moments where your writing reads quite beautifully."

Moments where your writing reads quite beautifully. There is nothing in the world that is a better complement to a writer, especially one who is creatively minded as well as analytically so. I have known for a long time that I could write well, and that in any class I could pull an "A" from a paper without too much effort. But to be told publicly that my writing reads beautifully is such a huge thing for my confidence. It is important to me that I be able to think and write intelligently and with clarity, but it is even more important to me as a lover of literature that I be able to write even just a sentance or two in a piece that strikes and grabs a reader. One that makes a reader pause, go back and read the sentence again because it moved them in some way.

That and the fact that if he thinks that even only in "moments" my writing reads beautifully then I have a LOT better chance of passing my defense!!! Believe me I am getting nervous about that!

I'll fight anyone who says Bob Dylan wasn't a great poet and a prophet of sorts.

2007-09-06T06:01:00.000-06:00

. . . .Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' whoThat it's namin'.
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'. . . .

The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin'.
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'.
(Dylan, B The Times they are a Changin' Columbia Records 1964)

Ok so I italicized some important parts of this song. Basically the ones that gesture towards the words of Christ. Why? Because the last five months have been a time of change for me.

Everything has been flip flopped and the "order is rapidly fadin'." And I am at a point where I know that changes have to and are being made, but I struggle with making some of those changes. Not that I don't want to, but that it seems so hard.

I cry out to God to make or help me make changes in my life -- real, deep down heart and soul changes -- and nothing seems to happen. Of course one can say that I am being impatient -- which I am -- but I want nothing more then to serve God and live the life that he intends for me. And though I have good intentions, I fail miserably.

Lessons in humility. That has actually been a motto of mine for this last little while. And it is true. For real change to occur we must have true humility, because we must know that we can't do it on our own. Our prideful flesh says "I can do it, I don't need your help." . . . and then we fall flat on our faces.

What changes do I long for? Simple: I want to live an incarnate life. I want to live in continual engagement with the Spirit of the living God. Catch-22. The change I want is what I need to make that change. Doh. So how does it come about??? Struggle, continual grasping, continual questing and quest-ioning.

But I am impatient. I want the times of my life to be changin' NOW. But as the song goes what is first now "will later" be different.

Can't later be now?????

Practice over theory . . . FINALLY

2007-09-05T15:15:00.000-06:00

Hey,
What can I say, as those of you who know me know, it has been a crazy summer. But yes, my sister is right in her comment on the last post, the major substance of my thesis is done now, and I pray that my committee doesn't want too many changes. I love what I do, but at the moment I am kind of tired.

My thesis is about love, true Agape love that can only come through an encounter with Christ, because he was the first and only person to show this sort of love. As we continue to encounter and re-encounter Christ, our identity changes, it shift to be an identity that is has Christ in it, and consequently can see the world -- see other humans -- as Christ sees us.

This completely lines up with what my wife is talking about here. Mercy -- Charity, Agape -- complete self-giving and other-receiving love is incredibly hard to do. And yet, as christians that is what we are called to do.

Okay, enough theory. How is this playing out in my life?

Well, I am in a spot in life where I have chosen a few people with whom I am completely open and honest with. And as for the rest of life and my interactions I am doing the same as much as I can and still protect myself.

What does this mean? It means I am in a place where throught the strength of God, I am stepping out in trust with people. This is incredibly scary for me, as I have always been one to do things on my own and specifically NOT to trust people.

I am trying to put into play everything that I discovered through my recent research (both for my thesis and just in life). I have found that I need to trust, I need to open my arms and invite people into an embrace of relationship. If it is not reciprocated then I have to trust in God and give everything over to him.

Amazingly simple to write, incredibly hard to live.

I love my God, and I wish to follow him and live a life where the traces of him continually accrete in my identity.

For me that mean to give God my heart, soul, mind in total and complete love. And in doing so to give myself in the same way to others in my life.

Ramblings

2007-03-29T14:26:00.000-06:00

I haven't posted in a while due to one simple reason:
THESIS
THESIS
THESIS

I have been furiously working on my thesis all week. This means that I have been thinking theo-philosophical thoughts all week, and yet it has mostly been intellectual and not spiritual. Though there has been some spiritualness involved. I enjoy the writing and I enjoy the thinking but I don't enjoy working on the outlining. It is something I have never really done in all of writing career (I know, how could I have gotten this far with "A's" and not done outlines). Consequently I am not used to it, and it is highly frustrating. Oh well, so goes life. I am about half way through.

And all the while I have been reading the most depressing book in the Bible . . . Ecclesiastes. "Vanity of Vanities, all is vanity." Truly a confusing book. Our pastor is doing a series on confusing sayings of Jesus . . . I wish he would parse Ecclesiastes for me. Is the teacher saying that all of life is vanity and we should follow the commandments of God while enjoying the pleasures of life? Is he saying that even following the commandments of God is vanity. All I can say for sure is that he does believe that whether good or bad we are all gonna die.

Someone forgot to take his happy pills!

Another poem, and (tongue in cheek??) prayer

2007-03-21T05:29:00.000-06:00

I want a cabin in the woods
where there is no wife
and there is no kids
and there is no shoulds

I want a cabin by a creek
where I can think
and I can fish
but only for a couple weeks

I want a cabin with electricity
because unfortunately
I have to have this blasted
laptop with me

I want a cabin with a fire
where I can gaze
and I can ponder
for my thesis work is dire

I'm going to bring you into my world for a bit

2007-03-16T12:57:00.000-06:00

I know this may be hard for you but I want you to read the following passage. There is so much to say about it:

That same love that sustains nonself-enclosed identities in the Trinity seeks to make space “in God” for humanity. Humanity is however, not just the other of God but the beloved other who has become an enemy. When God sets out to embrace the enemy, the result is the cross. On the Cross the dancing circle of self-giving and mutually indwelling divine persons opens up for the enemy; in the agony of the passion the movement stops for a brief moment and a fissure appears so that sinful humanity can join in (see John 17:21). We, the others – we, the enemies – are embraced by the divine persons who love us with the same love with which they love each other and therefore make space for us within their own eternal embrace.

What an amazing God we have. One who will give in entirely to anguish and agony in order to bring us into loving communion with the divine Trinity.

The wording here is so critical. We are the other, the ENEMY. We, humanity, who have turned our backs on God in order to make ourselves gods, are so loved that to bring us back into relationship, the Cross, the passion, all the agony, suffering and death which that entails, was necessitated. God creates a fissure within the existence of the Trinity in order to allow us to experience that Love. The love of the enemy.

stay tuned to this station for continuing updates on this developement!!!!

Me? I'm pretty damn dumb most of the time.

2007-03-15T05:45:00.000-06:00

Psalms 119: 57-71
The Lord is my portion; I promise to keep your words. I implore your favor with all my heart' be gracious to me according to your promise. When I think of your ways, I turn my feet to your decrees;I hurry and do not delay to keep your commandments. . . . You have dealt with your servant, O Lord, according to your word. Teach me good judgment and knowledge; for I beleieve in your commandments. Before I was humbled I went astray, but now I keep your word. You are good and do good; teach me your statutes. . . . It is good for me that I was humbledl so that I might learn your statutes.

Interesting passage huh?

In reading Psalm 119 there is so much in each and every stanza that it is almost too much to comprehend. But look at this: "The Lord is my portion." In other words, the Lord is all I get, no more, no less. Then the psalmist asks for grace according to God's promise. . . . he says that when he thinks of the lords ways his feet turn to God's decrees. In other words, when he thinks of what God does he does the same things (hold this thought in your mind for a bit, if you would) Then, interstingly enough, he says that the Lord has dealt with the servant according to His will. Now to me, though I admit I may be reading this wrong, it seeems that this must be connected to the next sentence where the servant has been humbled. look at the words "dealt with" and "servant." They seem to imply a reprimand or disciplining of some sort; this idea is only reinforced by the fact that the humbling comes directly afterwards. And THEN, the psalmist says that it is good that he was humbled.

SO jojo what have you learned today? (sorry, inside joke for those who have toddlers and watch the Disney channel)

A. God is all we got folks. When things are good, or bad, we usually first try to do things on our own steam, but the fact of the matter is, we ain't got any steam that is ours. The God who sustains this universe out of his sheer love for it, who gives sustanance to the lion, and bird, and the creatures of the deep from his own hand in his own time, does the same for us. have you ever thought what it would be like if God got REALLY mad at someone and just decided to NOT Love them to not "think" them? Poof! bye-bye. So hey, God really is your portion. He's all you got.

(wow never thought I could write an entire sermon on just one line! Jim, if you ever need a sermon writer I only charge twenty dollars per verse word!)

Now on to being humbled. hmmm maybe I need some of that.

I think I should attempt to remind myself of my humbled nature and the fact that all I have is God though, because frankly, when God humbles us it usually ain't fun or pretty. (been there, done that, got the shirt.)

But it is good to be humbled none-the-less. For in being humbled we learn the statutes of God, we are taught by the great teacher what we should be doing and how we should be acting. We are taught again that our portion is the Lord, and the Lord only. Why? Because God lets us be brought low, in order that he may raise us up again, so that we may learn where our sustanance comes from.

How quick of a learner are you? Me? I'm pretty damn dumb most of the time.

A Poem and my Prayer

2007-03-13T15:37:00.000-06:00

Come, YHWH
the To Be which is to Be.
Beyond all Being.
The Eternal Thou.
The Nameless Name.
Crossed on this Earth,
Yet sustaining it;
Open armed
Always and already

I lift myself to You
Open armed
upon my cross.
I, a living sacrifice.
Crossed in this being;
because of your
Crossing made righteous

Come, YHWH
Indwell me
with your Wind,
and with your Fire.
Be in me
as you are Beyond

Come, YHWH.
Sustain me
as you sustain
the Lion and the Lark.
Sustain me
as you sustain
the Grasses and the Herbs.
Sustain me as you
Sustain the Earth.

Come, YHWH
In your steadfast
Love, may I find atonement
for scorn, for pride
for jealousy and rage.
In your steadfast
Love, may I give atonement
for bitterness, for deceit.
For difference.

Come, YHWH
Guide me
on the paths
which only You know.
Guard me
from the enemies
which only You can defeat.
Go before me
in the wilderness
which only you
can turn to oasis.

Come, YHWH
the To Be which is to Be.
Beyond all Being.
The Eternal Thou.
The Nameless Name.
Crossed on this Earth,
Comprehender
beyond even my
comprehension of my
incomprehension.

Abba.
Crossed.
Wind.
Three.
One
Always
and Already

Amen.

p.s I figured out yesterday that this is the first poem I have written in ten years, so please its been a long time . . . . be gentle!

This crazy life

2007-03-08T07:57:00.000-07:00

This has been a crazy week. I have not had time to really spend in prayer and meditiation this week because Rowan has been deciding to get up at 5 AM. Consequently for the last few days I have felt very restless, anxious, and agitated. This morning however, I was able to get up and have my time to pray, read my bible and consecrate the day to the Lord. It felt so good.

I am just praying that the Holy Spirit will help to focus my mind today and give me the grace to organize my thoughts. I am working on my Thesis, but much of the reading was done almost a year ago. There are so many different thoughts and concepts running around my head that have been discovered or created since that point. I must, must, must focus my thoughts and drill down my thoughts on this paper to the core concepts. I am not good at doing that. Just read my blog and you'll figure that out quickly.

God, just do this for me. Alright?

2007-03-03T05:48:00.000-07:00

In Psalm 79 11-13, described as a plea for mercy for Jeruselem) the psalmist writes:

"Let the groans of the prisoners come before you; according to your great power preserve those doomed to die/ Return sevenfold into the bosom oof our neighbors the taunts with which they taunted you, O Lord! Then we your people, the flock of your pasture, will give thans to your forever; from generation to generation we will recount your praise."

In Genesis 28:20-1, Jacobsays much the same thing after his dream at Bethel:

"Then Jacob made a vow, saying 'If Godwill be with me and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat and clothing to wear, so that I come again to my father's house in peace, then the Lord shall be my God . . ."

How many times do you think Israel made promises such as this to God. "O Lord, just do this for me and I will follow you all the days of my life!" I would make a study of this but I might have to spend all the days of my life doing it! The history of Israel is cyclical: from the beginning it is a case of God blessing them, or doing miraculous deeds for them, Israel promising to praise and glorify him, and then, almost instantly turning their backs on him, until things get so bad that they cry out "How long, O Lord? Will you be angry forever? Will your jealous wrath burn like fire?" psalm 79:5 and ask God to bless them, or save them once more and make promises that even they know that they will not keep. In the previous psalm Israel "remembered that God was their rock, the Most High God their redeemer. But they flattered him with their mouths; they lied to him with their tongues. Their heart was not steadfast toward him; they were not true to his covenant.

I do not say this as any sort of condemnation of Israel, for the simple fact that I think it is also metaphorical of all of us in one way or another. Our lives in the Spirit are cyclical, we give ourselves to God, then take back from him, we move towards him, then run away.

And yet:
Yet he, being compassionate, forgave them their iniquity, and did not destroy them; often he restrained his anger, and did not stir up all his wrath."

Thanks be to God that he is loving as well as wrathful, that he has the full compendium of emotions and more restraint then any human.

If not, well . . . we'd all be screwed

My Heart

2007-03-01T05:41:00.000-07:00

Let me take you on a time warp:

Psalm 36 1-4:
1 Transgression speaks to the wicked deep in their hearts; there is no fear of God before their eyes.
2For they flatter themselves in their own eyes that their inquity cannot be fourn out and hated.
3 The words of their mouths are mischief and deceit; they have ceased to act wisely and do good.
4 They plot mischief while on their beds' theay are set on a way that is not good' they do not reject evil.

Pretty plain, don't think I need to explain.
Now for 37, (someday we'll be in heaven) (sorry I just HAD to make the rhyme there since the first line did it on its own. Please! with me, don't pick a bone!)

30 The mouths of the righteous utter wisdom, and their tongues speak justice.
31 The law of their God is in their hearts; their steps do not slip.

All jesting aside here, things are pretty clear (I'M SORRY!!!! I can't help it the rhymes are appearing on their by themselves. It must be the inspiration of elves)
Really all jesting aside take a look at the passages:

verse one of 36 says that transgression (read sin) is DEEP in the heart of texas . . . uh I mean the wicked. Sin is deep in the heart. they don't give a rip about God. This first statement is without parallel in the old testement. Transgression (crossing a line, sin) has here, taken the place normally reserved for God in the OT: that of oracle or speaker to the heart.

And look at the consequences of that: the "wicked" are blinded by their own flatter and lies to themselves: they see neither the fear of God, nor the fact that their sin is real and can be "found out and hated". The words which they speak and the actions which they plot are mischief and deceit.

in 37 30-1 this situation is reversed, this reversal is even emphasized by the text itself. Whereas the wicked have transgression deep in their hearts and speak mischief and deciet, the righteous speak wisdom and justice and the "law of their God is in their hearts."

In fact, if you look at the entirety of the two Psalms you see that the psalmist is setting up this exact dichotomy the psalmist begins with the transgression in the hearts of the wicked and shows th fruits of that situation, then goes on to speak of the virtues of God until the end of 36. In 37 he exhorts the people to the way of the Lord, and begins to illucidate the fruits which are born from having the law of God in the heart. "1 Do not fret because of the wicked; do nt be envious of wrongdoers, 2 for they will soon fade like the grass, and wither like the green herb. 3 Trust in the lord, and do good; so you will liven in the land and enjoy security. 4 Take delight in the lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will act. . . . 34 Wait for the Lord and keep to his way"

The obvious key to the point of the passage is what resides in the heart of humanity. When transgression resides in the heart (shall we here say soul, spirit . . . something else?) then necessarily the way is wickedness. When the "law [notice here this is not the capitalized Law of judaicism] of God" resides in the heart the then necessarily the way is righteousness. Obviously, there is a dichotomy between transgresion and God, and just as obviously there is a dichotomy between the heart which has God deep in and with it vs. the heart which lives in/with transgression. This passage also implies that there can be a transformative and redemptive move from the way of transgression to the way of God.

Now time warp a few hundreds of years into the future. To the words of a man who has actually incarnated this redemptive move: our man Paul.

Paul uses the same argumentative logic in Romans which is used in the above passages. In 6:16 Paul states "Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one who you obey,either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience which leads to righteousness? 17 But thanks be to God that you, having once been slaves of sin have ome obedient from the heart to the form or teaching to which you were entrusted, 18 and that you ,having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness."

We again see that it is through the heart (I repeat: shall we here say soul, spirit . . . something else?) and what resides in the heart -- or could we say where the heart resides? -- that there is either the way of wickedness or the way of God. But here, Paul takes the psalmists allusions to their final conclusion. The residents/ce of the heart is obedience to the point of slavery, the utter and complete giving over of the self to another; to the other. The Way

So, What or whom is your heart's resident/ce

AHA! you thought that was the end of the post didn't you? Of course not! That question is too banal, to flippant, to easily thrown out, then thrown away. Especially by christians. We, as christians use so much "in" language, so much jargon, and especially shorthand. "Where does your heart lie?" "Are you Born Again?" "Have you except Jesus as your Lord and Saviour?"

Yes, Jim is absolutely right when he writes on the 27 of Feb in We all need Grace that for the sake of those not "down wit JC," those who enter the doors of a church once or twice a year, or maybe in a time of chaos and chrisis, we need to step out of our tech jargon. The fact is that, in the end, do we who are "down wit JC" even know what that or the above shorthand questions really mean any more then those who aren't?

I would argue that many of us don't.

We come enter the church building in our sunday best, we sing the songs, we listen to the sermon, we even go to sunday school classes. And then we go home, take off the sunday best, and with it, oft' times our christianity.

Paul exhorts us to put on Jesus Christ. But Jesus is not some special added extra woven into the fabric of our Sunday Best, to be taken off when outside the walls of the church building. For as soon as we take him off, as soon as he no longer resides in our hearts, and we in his, then we are no longer bound in obedience to him. Christ is not woven into our garments to be taken on and off as we chose. Rather, The Way is woven into the very fibers of our hearts. We are bound to him and he to us so that "neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things ppresent, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nnor anything else in all creation, will be able to serarate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

It is thus that the redemption from "wicked" to "righteous" is wholly transformative of the self; it is a giving over of the self (in its entirety) to the radical other: GOd. And through him, a giving over of the self to the not so radical other: the neighbor, the friend, the enemy.

I apologize

2007-02-28T15:21:00.000-07:00

So, I have been studying Romans for the last couple of weeks. It started with just 5-8, and has sort of expanded from there. This has been not only a spiritual study, but also an intellectual one, for this is crucial to my Master's Thesis. Paul is talking theology here of course, or as my NASB introduction calls it “the most systematic presentation of doctrine within the Bible.” But he is doing more. Unfortunately, because this is part of my thesis I am loathe to publish my thoughts here on an open blog. I hope to turn my thesis into a proper book to publish, and even if I can't the thesis itself can be copyrighted. Consequently, if I publish my ideas here they are open to everyone and then I run into problems of plagerism (being accused of it myself) or someone taking my ideas. I know this may sound silly but I am concerned about it.

Consequently about all I can say is that it has been an amazing journey. And, for those of you whom I know, that wish to hear about this, I will let you know in private.

In Christ's transforming love

Brad

Teach me your Paths

2007-02-28T05:24:00.000-07:00

I now understand -- only slightly -- what David means in the Psalms when he says that he praises God at night when he lays his head down and in the morning when he arises. For the last week or so, I have been going to sleep singing praise songs in my head and awakening with them in the morning. Now this is by no choice of mine. It is not as if I have said "hey I think I will start praising the lord and I'll choose this song."

Rather, it has been one of those things where a song gets stuck in your head. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I don't know, I seem to have a bad memory and can only remember the refrains of these songs. So over and over in my head goes "blessed be the name of the lord, blessed be your glorious name," or "praise Adonai from the rising of the sun to the end of every day," etc. though this is simplicity of praise itself, I sure wish that I could remember the rest of the songs, because hey those words are good to.

But I say fortunately above, about the refrains, because it is good to come back to simplicity of prayers and praises. My morning routine consists of getting up, making coffee, feeding the cats and then going out to smoke and pray --is that heretical??? :) As I was doing the latter this morning I was thinking about my spiritual journey.

It has been a long and interesting journey. Last week as I was filling out a form to become a member in our church (mainly so that I could vote that women can be deacons) I was asked when I "accepted Jesus Christ as my Saviour." It took me back to a picture I have in my head of my sister and I sitting opposite each other on a swing set sometime in 1979. She was 5 and I was 3. She led me to God right there and then. And that is where the journey began.

In the last ten years my journey has been an interesting one. God would insistently tap me on the shoulder (or beat me over the head, one or the other) until I turned to him: then my whole heart, my whole being was striving towards him. For a while. And then I would slowly turn away and take back every thing I had given to him. This has been cyclical and I truly want it to stop. So my prayer -- lifted on the smoke offering of tobacco (come on guys I'm joking here) -- was that God would keep me on his path, and teach me to stay in his will. I knew that I had read a psalm specifically about that last week so I wanted to go find it and study it some more. I did (psalm 143), but before that I found this:

4Make me know Your ways, O LORD; Teach me Your paths. 5Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation; For You I wait all the day. 6Remember, O LORD, Your compassion and Your lovingkindnesses, For they have been from of old. 7Do not remember the sins of my youth or my transgressions; According to Your lovingkindness remember me, For Your goodness' sake, O LORD. 8Good and upright is the LORD; Therefore He instructs sinners in the way. 9He leads the humble in justice, And He teaches the humble His way. 10All the paths of the LORD are lovingkindness and truth To those who keep His covenant and His testimonies. 11For Your name's sake, O LORD, Pardon my iniquity, for it is great.

Psalm 25

And that folks is my prayer for today

lemme' 'splain . . . no no lemme sum up

2007-02-24T06:50:00.000-07:00

My scripture study this week has consisted of two things.
First, a true study of passages, it was psalms 63 earlier this week, and I am still working on Romans. Though I hope to have something significant to say about that later today, it will be an ongoing study because it is key to a part of my thesis.
The second consists of opening the psalms and either finding a passage immediately that touches me, or flipping through until I do. Not very scientific I know, but hey I grew up in Charismatic Pentacostal churches so some of that pure "leading of the spirit" in my scripture study remains!!

There is an actual reason for this though. Amy and Katie have been reading a book called "The Divine Hours" Edited by Philys Tickle. (That name just fills us with tickles till were pink!). It is a book of liturgical prayers and psalms for the day. Kate has been taking hers to work with her so I haven't had access to it. But the Psalms seem to be working for quite well.

I found two today. One was a psalm of Solomon that the NASB marks as being about "The Reign of the Messiah." This one is good for later comment. on Adamic/Christic thingy.

MY psalm for today though comes Asaph Psalm 73: 25-28

25 Whom have I in heaven but Thee? And besides Thee I desire nothing on earth
26 My flesh and my heart may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
27 For, Behold those who are far from Thee will perish; Thou hast destroued all those who are unfaithful to Thee.
28Bus as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord God my refuge, That I may tell of all Thy Works.

PREACH IT BROTHA'!!

p.s. please excuse any and all typos lately, I have a new Laptop curtesy of Voc Rehab and I am getting used to the millimetric differences in the keyboard.

May God bless you today and keep you in His refuge. In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit; amen

p.p.s. a reward for anyone reading this who can tell me what movie this post title quotes, and an extra bonus if you can tell me which tv show the actor is now in.

Slicing the Gordian knot

2007-02-23T15:33:00.000-07:00

Look:

however we want to parse it; however we wish to talk about it; what ever terminology or perspective we are coming from, the fact of the matter is that we are talking about a very simple thing:

Will we choose our Adamic culture and identity

or

Will we choose the Christic culture, the Kingdom identity which Christ has offered freely to us through the Gift of the Spirit.

Will you choose life in communion with the Trinity

or will you chooose death alone.

Prayer for today

2007-02-23T08:16:00.000-07:00

Abba Father I lift high your holy and rightious name. I thank you today for the release from mental pain that I had yesterday and I praise you for an new day and a new creation.

My prayer for today:

1 Hear my prayer, O Lord; listen to my plea! Answer me because you are faithful and righteous. 2 Don’t put your servant on trial, for no one is innocent before you. 3 My enemy has chased me. He has knocked me to the ground and forces me to live in darkness like those in the grave. 4 I am losing all hope; I am paralyzed with fear. 5 I remember the days of old. I ponder all your great works and think about what you have done. 6 I lift my hands to you in prayer. I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain.Interlude
7 Come quickly, Lord, and answer me, for my depression deepens. Don’t turn away from me, or I will die. 8 Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you. 9 Rescue me from my enemies, Lord; I run to you to hide me. 10 Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing. 11 For the glory of your name, O Lord, preserve my life. Because of your faithfulness, bring me out of this distress. 12 In your unfailing love, silence all my enemies and destroy all my foes, for I am your servant.

Today is "Babel" day . . . hope someone understands

2007-02-22T15:45:00.000-07:00

What can I say folks, too much going on at the moment and too much scripture has led me to delay this and delay this blog -- even though I have had some great ideas.

#1) I have been reading/contemplating/meditating/theorizing/theologizing/philosophizing on what is arguably the most crucial FOUNDATIONAL (because paul expounds greatly on it in other places -- thanks Brian) passage for evangelical theology: Rom 5-8. Now even if you don't happen to be the long winded writer that I am, just try saying something short, sweet, and simply about this!!!

#2) Along with everything else that goes along with stewarding the menagerie, my heart is breaking. Breaking for my wife -- for the stress she faces as the sole bread-winner, breaking for my Mom -- in the slow loss of her own mothre, and breaking for myself for the above and other various and different reasons.

#3) I feel as if I have had an atomic bomb go off inside my skull.

So now for something completely different:
My Psalm for the day: Psalms 1o7 23-30

23Those who go down to the sea in ships, Who do business on great waters; 24They have seen the works of the LORD, And His wonders in the deep. 25For He spoke and raised up a stormy wind, Which lifted up the waves of the sea. 26They rose up to the heavens, they went down to the depths; Their soul melted away in their misery. 27They reeled and staggered like a drunken man, And were at their wits' end. 28Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, And He brought them out of their distresses. 29He caused the storm to be still, So that the waves of the sea were hushed. 30Then they were glad because they were quiet, So He guided them to their desired haven.

this is what I have needed today. I have need the seas to be calmed and be led into my desired haven. And yet, God has not seen fit to do this for me today, as I am sure he did not see fit to do it for David as he cried out so many times.

As for one of the greatest orators/debators/logicians in the history of the world bar none (Paul) I will say this. throughout Rom 5-8 there is much talk about the mind and the flesh. At one point in 6 Paul brings up the heart. Finally in 8 somehow, someway he combines them into a whole where the mortal body is sustained by the Spirit of God and the heart and mind are combined with the same spirit.

Now any of my philosophical colleagues would rail against this barely sketched arguement but I don't have the energy, desire or for that matter the care to make it more focused. Suffice it to say we are talking about a difference between an Adamic vs. Christic Culture. AND THIS WILL BE FOLLOWED UP ON.

my love in Christ to all who read this.

Brad

Timing is Everything.

2007-02-19T03:00:00.000-07:00

For the third night in a week now I have woken up at 1:30 AM almost on the dot, and not been able to go back to sleep. The first night I wrote an email to a Brother-in-Law whom I cherish, and yet because we don't have much in common, and are both silent types in a way, I don't have the relationship I want with him. So, being the writer I am, I shared some stuff with him in the easiest way posssible, and then was finally able to go back to sleep. The second such night (or morning I guess!) I tried to go back to sleep and couldn't so I watched the history channel. Did you know that the US dropped 99 MILLION tons of explosives on Europe in the three years odd years from 1942-late '44, and almost 2/3 of that from the absolutely beautiful B-17 flying fortress? I bet you didn't. But now you do. I have always said that I am an Urn of absolutely useless information and that night added to my stores. Hurray!!!

Anyway, tonight I decided that I would update my blog. I am not the best when it comes to scripture study. Finding the time to get into the "Word" is not easy for me, unless it is academically. When I do, then it is refreshing and fulfilling, but it doesn't often happen. Knowing that this is key to "knowing" God, I have asked for some accountability in this area, and this here ol' space is where that is gonna take place y'know. I am sure that other things then just scripture stuff will pop up, since the menagerie is so much a part of my life but then so is theo-philosophy so they "you can't have one without the ooooooother" (that's a line from a song I think).

So on with the project . . . I have been meditating and contemplating Psalms 63 and some of the passages surrounding it this week.

Considering the fact that we have about six different Bibles laying around the house, and of course one of my favorite research sites bible.com, I read this in many different versions. I liked the NASB for a couple of reasons.

Let me set the scene, as I understand it. Our friend David has been running from Saul's armies for who knows quite how long at this point. Unfortunately, though it might once have been part of a "Fertile Crescent" it ain't so fertile at this particular juncture. The only place where there is fertility is where the towns and cities are: around oases and rivers/streams. Now David, being the smart fellow we know him to be isn't real likely to be hangin' out in those towns and cities. In fact, he is in the "wilderness."

Now, to most of us in the West, we see "wilderness" as vast . . . tracks of land, covered by pine forests, inhabited by lots of yummy things to eat like squirrels, white tail deer, elk and moose (oh yeah, and the occasional wolf, mountain lion, and Grizzly, but hey not everything can be rosy!) And of course the wonderful refreshment of glacier fed streams. Yeah, that ain't David's wilderness.

David is just kinda chillin out in desolate, parched, desert. He must be close to starving, and definitely close to death with dehydration. His tongue is swollen and dry, his lips cracked so deep that anytime he moves them they split and dark claret blood oozes from scabs. And yet, in the NASB translation this is what he has to say:

This is how the NASB translates it:

"1O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water. 2Thus I have seen You in the sanctuary, To see Your power and Your glory. 3Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, My lips will praise You. 4So I will bless You as long as I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name. 5My soul is satisfied as with marrow and fatness, And my mouth offers praises with joyful lips. 6When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches, 7For You have been my help, And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy. 8My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me. 9But those who seek my life to destroy it, Will go into the depths of the earth. 10They will be delivered over to the power of the sword; They will be a prey for foxes. 11But the king will rejoice in God; Everyone who swears by Him will glory, For the mouths of those who speak lies will be stopped."

Now, being a chronic pain sufferer I know that pain can become all consuming and I am sure that David was in a lot of pain in a lot of ways. Yet he is not concerned with his physical being. He is crying out to a God who is beyond being, beyond materiality. David's soul thirsts and his body yearns for God, not for water. He has seen God in the "sanctuary" and has seen him in Power and Glory. Now I am not sure what the Hebrew word is but to me this can mean only one thing: David has encountered God in such a way that he was almost pulled into the throne room. That is the only way that I can imagine that at that point in time he could say that God' love is better than life, that he could open those cracked and bleeding lips in joy to praise a God who has not delivered him from the wilderness. It is the only way that he could be satisfied with marrow and fatness in his soul, while his body slowly dies. Experience the love that must abound within the throne room of God is the only way that any man that I could imagine could look back upon the agonies David has experienced to this point and say that God has been his help and he has been under the protective shadow of God's wing. Truly encountering the overwhelming presence of the unthinkable Other which is God in trinitarian community and love is the only way that David could possibly say that his enemies (remember were talking about a large army here folks) would be put to sword.

We, as christians (at least as evangelical christians) commonly call the room in which we sing, have announcements, do baby dedications, and jot down grocery lists while the pastor rambles on about something or other, the "sanctuary." If we look at the word, we have the root "sanct" (now it is 4AM so I aint gonna go get out my research books and get the terminology totally correct here so bear with me) now this root always means holy or consecrated. In the OT sanctuary usually meant the Tabernacle of the Ark. SIMPLY PUT: I get the feeling that "sanct" basically means God's dwelling place, because the only places I know that are holy or consecrated are where God has been.

Now in our modern sanctuary we are often sanctimonious, but that is because we are forgetting, through mere common usage what the "sanctuary" is all about. This is not to say that we should be in suit and tie, or dresses and hats when we enter the sanctuary (I don't think David's Armani suit stood up to well to the rigors of the wilderness). And thought the sanctuary may sometimes become a true sanctuary where God feeds us with fatness and marrow, the sanctuary -- the holy and consecrated dwelling place of that awesome communal Other -- is now no longer within the Tabernacle of the ark of the covenant. It is within us. We are the dwelling place. We are the holy and sanctified place.

So in the end, what does all of this mean? It means that we are ALWAYS under the shadow of the wing of God, we are always being fed with marrow and fatness, our enemies: those who fight against us in our journey of faith, are already scattered, put to the sword and under the earth (notice that David says that little bit first?). And yet, are we singing praises? Are we joyful? Do we see his "lovingkindness"? Do our souls cling to him? Sure sometimes, but hey we are in the sanctuary, we are the sanctuary of the loving trinity that is God ALL THE TIME.

I am off to glory in the presence of the Lord in the sanctuary He has made of me.

Oh yeah, and a side note to Kate: Yes I realize that God may like incense in his sanctuary but tabacco smoke is NOT incense. I'm workin on it babe.

Deep Thoughts

2006-07-28T09:23:00.000-06:00

My sister has been making me feel embarassed and ashamed. Why? you ask. Simply this: I came up with the great idea of starting a blog (for that matter, a few different blogs on different things) and yet I have two entries in mine and she has at least double that!

So I decided to update mine a bit.

For a little sample of why I haven't updated mine and why I would start multiple blogs, I present for your perusal the following (I would say your reading pleasure but . . .):

In argument against the rational reduction of religion to a pure objectivity, Climacus claims that “the speculative thinker’s understanding is not the understanding that Christianity is the truth – no, it is the speculative thinker’s understanding of Christianity that is the truth of Christianity. The understanding is thus something other than the truth.”[1] The speculative thinker is exactly one who views Christianity through the lens of objective human intelligence, and Climacus is here explicating a crucial point: through the use of objective reason, the “truth” which is discovered is not that of the “absolute Truth” but rather it is the truth that objective reasoning understands and agrees with itself.
Religion based on human understanding, which then deduces the absolute attributes of God and absolutes of religious practices, does not have an understanding of God, but rather an understanding of its own concept of God. Consequently, God is placed in a box, and if his limbs don’t quite fit that box, they are lopped off. God is limited and reduced to the abilities of human intelligence. This is the key to the objections which Kierkegaard, Levinas and Derrida raise against objective faith. “The essential point: Once thematized, an other [autrui] is without uniqueness. He is returned to the social community to the community of dressed beings . . . .”[2] says Levinas. Or as Derrida states it: “Once the messianic is given determinate content, it is restricted within a determinable and determining horizon.”[3]God becomes merely another human – possibly a superhero human – but limited nonetheless to the confines of humanity’s clothing. Specifically, he becomes a human resident of which ever sect or denomination one comes from. As this boxed in God, this clothed superhero, is forced into residence within a community or culture, the fixed and determined dogmas, tenets and rituals of religious practice obviously conform to that culture and not another. Consequently, segregation and marginalization of the other is sanctioned.
Another consequence is that, since the “truth” of God agrees exactly with a culture’s conception, there is no need for change, and criticism is strictly out of the question, since religious practice is unchangeable. John J. Caputo makes explicit Derrida’s own agreement with Kierkegaard’s and Levinas’ opposition to this sort of system: “all that deconstruction tells against are the totalizing tendencies of theological discourse . . . which is the same complaint that deconstruction would have about secularism or naturalism, about any totalizing tendency.”[4] O,r as Climacus puts it “Truth as the identity of thought and being is therefore a chimera of abstraction.”[5] Religion based solely on human rationality is merely a construction which limits God, sanctions marginalization and confrontation, and separates itself from subjective significance.
[1] Kierekegaard in Westphal, Merold. Becoming a Self. West Lafayette, IN: Purdue University Press, 1996.pg 231
[2] Levinas, Emmanuel. Of God who Comes to Mind. trans. Bettina Bergo. Standford, CA: Stanford University Press, 1998. pg 11
[3] Caputo, John D. The Prayers and Tears of Jacques Derrida. Bloomington, IN: Indiana University Press, 1997. pg 118
[4] Caputo, John D. The Prayers and Tears of Jacques Derrida. Bloomington, IN: Indiana University Press, 1997. pg 19
[5] Kierekegaard in Westphal, Merold. Becoming a Self. West Lafayette, IN: Purdue University Press, 1996 pg 209

Are ya havin' fun yet????

I didn't think so.

Most people don't find this sort of thing fun. I however, do. And consequently it is this that I spend the times that I am not entertaining and corralling my son thinking and working on. Unfortunately, since I am beginning work on my Master's thesis I don't have a lot of time to blog.

This sort of thinking though, is not just navel gazing and mental . . . umm self-pleasuring. It really does have import for praxis (a high falutin' ivory tower word for practicing something in the "real" world.

For instance go look at this latest entry in the blog by my sis: http://stoppingspot.blogspot.com/

Now then, put on your thinking caps and lets look at what theo-philosophical insights we can find!!! (everyone shout yeahh!!! theo-philosophy!!!!)

In Exclusion and Embrace Miroslav Volf talks about the idea of being able to see from the perspective of the Other. I won't go into detail about the prereqs for this but suffice it to say that it is only through Christ. When one is able to do this she is able to then look back and see herself how the other sees her.

This is where the Spirit's question to Amy came from. "Where do YOU dump your junk?" The Spirit used Amy's compassion and love for her son to allow her a small and fleeting glimpse back at herself, and an even more fleeting glimpse of how God sees her.

It may seem that this has been a rambling post with many strange tangents but it does have a point.

What may seem like navel-gazing at times (though I am not discounting that as a fun and interesting activity -- for instance I found a found a chili pepper just the other day) is not unimportantant.

Though God was able to ask Amy if she was pooing her own shorts (yes, yes, I have always been the really crude one in the family) without her having to think these deep thoughts. Through an analysis of the situation we can come to an understanding of what occured and hopefully through this analysis recreate the occurance in situations which don't have the built in love of a mother for a son.

In other words, we as Christians can attempt to understand our encounters with God in more significant ways and attempt to treat the "Other" --whether that be our spouses, other christians, or other cultures -- as God treats us.

When was the last time you truly thought about the difference between your encounters with God (the ultimate Other) and your encounters with the human other?

ugghhgg

2006-01-25T09:04:00.000-07:00

Can I just go back to bed??

Sometimes I wish I had my son's life. Actually most of the time I wish I had his life. Someone to organize my day, pick me up and carry me when I don't feel like making my own way, someone to feed me, pick my clothes (oh wait my wife does do that) and change my dirty nappies.

But especially, I wish that I could wake up from my nights sleep and then go back to bed an hour and half later.

That is definitely what I want to do today. I have forced myself to write for grad school this morning but really I just want to be asleep. It is cold and grey and I WANT MY BLANKIE!!!

However, the rugrat is crying and so I go . . .

In the Beginning

2006-01-18T13:31:00.000-07:00

So this is the first of what I hope will be many many posts.

A little about me (and the name of the blog):
I am a stay at home dad. I do this by choice and by physical necessity.
Who am I dad to?

Well, I am glad you asked! The names of my children are as follows
Katie: aged 29
Rowan (often refered to as "Monkey"): aged 9 months
Bobby: aged 2
Basil: aged 5
Tigger: aged 5
Stone: aged ????

Now, can you guess how many of these are actually human and children?
If you do you win a prize!! (actually just the satisfaction of knowing you were right).

And thus the name: At home with the Menagerie

me·nag·er·ie (plural me·nag·er·ies) noun

Definitions:
1. wild animal exhibit: a collection of wild animals kept in captivity for the curiosity and entertainment of the public, sometimes as part of a traveling show
2. wild animal enclosure: an enclosure in which wild animals are kept for public exhibition
3. diverse or exotic group: a diverse, exotic, or unusual group of people or things [Late 17th century.

I think we qualify on all accounts!
More coming soon.